the making of why we are the way we are
How The Book Was Conceived
I never really saw myself as a writer or even considered becoming an author. When I was younger, though, I had a fascination with quotes. I filled a journal with hundreds—maybe even thousands—of them, and at one point, I thought about publishing a collection. But that idea never materialized, and those quotes still sit somewhere on my computer.
My journey as a counselor began in the early 2000s when I started working as a substance abuse counselor. Over time, I moved through various nonprofit organizations that provided mental health services. It wasn’t until I was about a decade into my profession that I realized how dissatisfied I was with my education. It became clear to me that real learning didn’t happen in the classroom—it happened in the session, sitting with clients and engaging in the work itself.
At the same time, I was exploring my spirituality, experimenting with different practices and rituals. The thought of writing a book started to cross my mind. I considered sharing my experiences as a therapist and my personal journey, but nothing felt solid yet. That was around 2012 or 2013. Over the next few years, I kept thinking about what I would write, what themes I would explore, but I had no clear direction.
Then, something incredible happened. One morning, while I was in the shower, reflecting on my day and the future projects I had been brainstorming, it suddenly came to me—almost like a download. Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Every chapter, along with its themes and content, became crystal clear in my mind. It was as if the entire book had been handed to me in a matter of minutes.
I immediately stepped out of the shower, grabbed a pen, and wrote everything down. I knew, without a doubt, that this was the book I was meant to write. As I reread my notes, the themes, the topics, and the structure all aligned perfectly. That’s when the title revealed itself to me: Why We Are The Way We Are.
There was no question in my mind—God was working through me, guiding me, and showing me exactly what I needed to do.
REAL LIFE CHARACTERS IN MY BOOK
My Family
Fernando Childhood friend
My Siblings
This is my family. From Left to Right
Chloe my eldest, myself, my wife Patti and Ariel. My wife and I have been together since 1995, both born and raised in California. In 2015, we moved our family to Mckinney, Texas were we remain.
My Siblings
Fernando Childhood friend
My Siblings
These are my siblings. From Left to Right.
My brother Edward, the youngest of the bunch. Myself, then David, Larry in the back and my only sister, Maria. Wonderrful memories from all of them. We were lucky guys. Great times!
Fernando Childhood friend
Fernando Childhood friend
Fernando Childhood friend
Fernando is one of the first friends I ever made. We met in kindergarten and have been friends ever since. He has the funniest quirks—like this handshake that feels like he’s trying to break your fingers, as if he hasn’t quite figured out the right grip strength. He’s a solid friend, and I’m grateful to have met him.
Sergio Childhood friend
Leticia (Spiritual Teacher)
Fernando Childhood friend
I met Sergio when I was 11, and we instantly clicked. He’s an incredible person—funny, witty, and incredibly sharp. We’ve been through so much together and have endless stories to tell. He’s like a brother to me. I’ve always thought he would have made a great therapist, but life has its own plans, and that’s perfectly okay.
Paul (Spiritual Teacher)
Leticia (Spiritual Teacher)
Leticia (Spiritual Teacher)
I met Paul at a Meetup he hosted at a café for those interested in connecting with the spirit realm. From that point on, we met regularly for spiritual training and drum circles. He gifted me a drum, which still sits in my office today. Paul introduced me to the fundamentals of Journeywork before moving to India after getting married. Sadly, he passed away, and I never had the chance to say goodbye.
Leticia (Spiritual Teacher)
Leticia (Spiritual Teacher)
Leticia (Spiritual Teacher)
I met Leticia shortly after meeting Paul at one of the drum circles. Over the years, she guided me in understanding the deep connection between the mind and body. She helped me quiet my logical mind on my spiritual journey and trust my intuition. Years later, during some of my darkest times, she supported me through challenging attachments and what I would consider spiritual warfare.
Monique (Gifted Intuitive)
Monique (Gifted Intuitive)
Monique (Gifted Intuitive)
I met Monique one afternoon in 2012 while seeking clarity and direction in my life. A part of me still carried guilt, feeling indebted to the world and questioning my own goodness. That day, I cried a lot, and in that vulnerable moment, a meaningful relationship was born. Through her guidance, I grew stronger, deepened my connection with God, my angels, and my intuition, and made it a tradition to reconnect with her each year. To this day, we remain in touch, and I still cherish the rose quartz she gifted me.
Rahelio (Shaman)
Monique (Gifted Intuitive)
Monique (Gifted Intuitive)
In 2008, I took part in my first Sweat Lodge ceremony in Sedona, AZ. I had heard about these sacred rituals but understood they were deeply private, usually by invitation only. I connected with Rahelio, who agreed to lead a private ceremony for me. Without a doubt, that experience ignited my connection with God, my Angels, and my Intuition. I’ve returned several times since, even taking my niece in 2023. Ajo!
Mr. Slocum (Math Teacher)
Monique (Gifted Intuitive)
Mr. Slocum (Math Teacher)
Mr. Slocum was my Pre-Algebra teacher at Los Angeles Harbor College in Harbor City, California. By now, I'd failed all my math classes and on my last breath. I'd caught him in his old station wagon as he was reading the newspaper. I walked up and said, "Hi Mr. Slocum, I'm in your math class. I'm worried I won't pass your class and I've tried tutors and nothing seems to be working for me." His response was simple, "You'll be fine." And that was that. I passed.